1. EVEN WHEN IT HURTS BE HONEST : Make no mistake—honesty is key in a relationship. If you do need to bring up an issue, make sure that you say it gently instead of bluntly letting out your harsh complaints. “The best relationships are absolutely honest with each other, but not brutal,”. Just like you would think carefully about how to give constructive criticism to a coworker or friend, use kind words with your partner. You’ll still be able to let your feelings out without hurting your loved one in the process, especially if you avoid these phrases that make arguments worse.
2. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRY : Supposedly, ending an argument to get some sleep will leave you both fuming instead of making productive steps to fix the problem. In reality, though, happy couples actually do hit the sack before resolving a fight. “When you have two exhausted, angry, upset people trying to duke it out at one in the morning, nothing good will come from that,”. The key is that people in strong relationships don’t pretend it never happened, she says. Instead, they agree to revisit the fight the next day—even if that means laughing about how silly it was—when they both have clearer heads.
3. ONE SPOUSE IS IN CHARGE OF INITIATING SEX : If your significant other almost always initiates sex, don’t assume it shouldn’t happen if he or she doesn’t make a move. As long as you’re both satisfied, it doesn’t matter who acts first, says Dr. Greer. “What matters is that both people initiate freely when they’re in the mood so there’s constant give and take. Give your partner some signals instead of silently hoping the your significant other heats things up. But if your partner isn’t in the mood, don’t push it. Just discuss a time in the future when you both will be more receptive, says Dr. Greer. If you’re having trouble getting in the mood.
4. BIG GESTURES MEAN YOU CARE: Romantic gestures like giving a dozen roses or planning a weekend away aren’t the only—or even the best—way to show your partner you care. How you treat your significant other on a daily basis will mean much more to the strength of your relationship. “Those big ones are nice, but those are the big moments. Those do not make a marriage. “It’s the little day-to-day acts of generosity and kindness that have the big impact.” Thank your partner for doing little things like changing the light bulbs so that your relationship has a foundation of appreciation and love.
5. THE PERSON WHO’S WRONG SHOULD BE THE FIRST TO APOLOGISE : Even if you’re absolutely sure that you’re right during a fight with your partner, don’t sit around waiting for an apology. Be the bigger person, and say sorry for your part in the argument. That way, you can both move on instead of stewing in unresolved anger. If you’re always the one apologizing in every fight, follow up by asking if your partner feels sorry, too. “Pose the question and engage your partner’s response,”. “If they say they aren’t sorry, prompt them about what may need to change, because you need to be able to trust he or she won’t do this again.” Here are some ways you accidentally ruin your apologies.
6. GUYS SHOULD ALWAYS FOOT THE BILL : It’s high time this old-fashioned rule went out the window. “Guys don’t like having to pay all the time, so women can offer to pay for certain aspects of their shared life rather than always expecting her partner to pay,” . “Make him feel cared about too.” Offer to pay for a nice dinner out, or start covering the cost of a class you take together
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