Having a man fall head over heels for you is a lot easier than
you think.
First, let me say that you can’t actually make a man love you,
but you certainly can inspire his love for you. This is
important to remember for many reasons, mostly because a
lot of women think they can somehow earn a man’s love by
putting lots of energy into the dating relationship.
Unfortunately for them, love doesn’t work this way.
1. Stop chasing him.
Exerting effort in the relationship doesn’t work, but what
does work is allowing the man to roll up his sleeves and earn
your respect and affections. Men like to provide; it makes
them feel worthy and validated in their manhood when they
can be of service to a woman.
When you chase a man and do all the servicing in the
relationship, you take away his need for responsibility and
desire to please you. Most men don’t feel comfortable when
the woman is doing all the work. They either get lazy about
deepening the connection, not sure of their natural place in
the relationship, or they leave.
2. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
The fastest way to make a man love you is to earn his respect
and awe. A woman who knows her boundaries can demurely
and simply communicate them, and can stick to enforcing
them will do just this.
3. Stop talking and start listening.
Women have a lot to say and we need a man to listen to all
our issues. However, men need to talk, too. And often times
we miss a man’s cues to be heard because they’re much more
subtle. A guy isn’t going to say, “Can you please listen to me?”
or, “Can I tell you all about my day?”
But he does desperately want you to listen when he shares a
story or asks your advice on something. He needs you to stop
what you’re doing (put the phone, your workload, the dishes,
or child down) and hear him out. He needs you to listen with
more than your ears and hear past his spoken words.
He also needs you to validate him often. Say, “I’m proud of
you for that,” “Sounds like you did the right thing,” or, “I love
the way you tell a funny story.”
4. You absolutely must love yourself first.
A man falls in love with you the more you fall in love with
yourself. So few women have self-confidence and self-esteem.
Regardless of how you lost your self-belief, it’s your job to fall
back in love with that sexy goddess in the mirror.
Feelings of self-loathing aren’t attractive. Low levels of self-
love not only affect the way you move, have s*x, socialize and
share your feelings; you’re also more likely to smother a man
with neediness if you have a bad self-image.
If you can’t feel good about yourself, you’re going to look to a
man to be your mirror. Soon, you’re going to be constantly
seeking out love and validation at a rate that he can’t keep
up; soon, your desire for a sweet compliment will feel like a
demand to him.
5. Soften your edges.
Most men like soft booties and soft hearts. Just like they want
to curl up next to your smooth, tender curves, they also want
to feel like your energy is calm and approachable.
Take a deep breath and think about a litter of puppies
climbing all over you and licking your face. Their warm
bellies, furry paws and wobbly walk. Awww. You feel
emotionally lighter, right? Well, next time you’re with your
man, smile and get to that puppy-litter place.
I don’t just suggest you do this when things are rosy in your
relationship; do it when things are awful, too. You can still
have calm energy and a happy heart when you’re mad as
hell. It takes practice and trust, but it’s doable and it’s so
important.
It shows a man that you’re an emotionally safe place for him.
A lot of men are afraid of women, while women are scared of
a man’s physical size and booming voice. They’re afraid of
our emotions; they don’t want to disappoint us or be shamed
by us in a midst of an emotional outburst.
A woman with intense, erratic energy, can make a man run,
fast
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